Swimming, Sports & Other Stimulating Activities
I didn't learn how to swim or ride a bike until I was 9. And don't get me started on gym class...
It was made very clear to me both directly and indirectly that I was failing as a child because I wasn't leaping into bodies of water with wild abandon or hurling myself through space on wheels with nary a thought for my safety. No, instead I was the little girl clinging to the side of the pool or with a death grip on a parent in the ocean. I was less reluctant about riding a bike - living in the city proved to be a bit of a hindrance. Learning to ride is more challenging the older you get and as a 9 year old HSP, I was extra cautious by then but with help from my dad I learned to ride on two wheels and will be forever grateful.
It's easy to judge the "fussy, high maintenance" child clinging to a parent, hesitant to go in the pool. Recently I heard a friend commenting about someone else's child who is an HSP and had this exact issue. The person rolled their eyes. It was clear they were judging the child and also the parents for not doing a better job of nudging the child out of his comfort zone. Trust me, pushing a child to just go in the water without taking time to understand his or her concerns and help come up with a plan is not the way to go. My father did just that. I was about 7 and we had gone to the ocean and he decided it was about time I got over my fear of the waves. He grabbed my arm and proceeded to march me into the ocean. About 6 steps in, my adrenalin kicked in and 7 year old me overcame my 29 year old father's grip. I turned tail and ran - big mistake. The wave that had been coming at us (about 12 feet high to my 7 year old estimation) overtook me and I returned to shore upside down with my legs sticking up in the air. I'm still traumatized to this day!
Because of these early experiences I have made a point of treating my son with respect and rather than making assumptions and judgements, I try to ask him to articulate his experience and his concerns about new events. Likely because he's HSP, he has always been a kid who checks things out for a bit (20-30 minutes) and then plunges in. Giving him the space to observe and trust his own instincts has worked very well for us. Because of this, I believe he is much less fearful about trying new things. I try to do this with myself as well. When I feel apprehensive I ask myself what it is I need to support myself with whatever it is that is challenging me or if I even need to do it at all.
All I will say about sports is that my face apparently has an invisible magnetized bullseye on it that says, "Come and get me ball!" I stay as far away as I can and, honestly, my life is just fine without playing competitive sports, thank you very much. Yoga studio, here I come!
Blessings and Namaste!
Caprice
