HSP and Motherhood

This is a picture of my mom and me. She was a definite HSP. I always describe her as being one of those people who was too fragile for this world. Between growing up in conditions of poverty with alcohol in the home and being HSP in a world that is simply not made for HSP's, she was at a major disadvantage. She was the best person I know - so kind and so generous. You may have noticed I'm speaking in the past tense and if you haven't read all my other posts, she passed away in 1987 from breast cancer that had metastasized.

Thankfully, I also take after my paternal grandmother. To put it mildly, she was born, and will always be until her last days, a hell-raiser. She was one of those toughies who survived the depression. I always tell people she was the last of about 12 children in a large Catholic family and, very appropriately, she was the only one not named after a saint. I have my mother's kindness and generous spirit but also my grandmother's feistiness.

I wish I'd known about my HSP in a concrete way before our son came into our lives. It would have helped so much in those early days coping with sleepless nights and a wailing infant. I've read somewhere in the last few years that infants with the HSP trait tend to be more fussy. I wish I'd known that. His fussiness triggered my sensitivity and we would spiral down together when he was tiny, sometimes with my husband coming home to me in a puddle of tears. I was one of the few moms who was happy to go back to work at 3 months and I felt guilty when it was clear I was supposed to be missing him.

I'm thankful that I have the trait as I think it makes it easier for me to know what my son needs at certain times. Of course, as all seasoned parents know, those needs can change drastically with each new developmental milestone. When our son was 2, at time I could see in his eyes that the world had become "all too much" and I would just wrap him up in his fuzzy blue blanket and hold him tight in a quiet, dark room until he was ready to go back out into the world. Now that he is 11, has his hair dyed pink and is heavily into the current music, this sort of treatment is completely unacceptable. He is beginning the process of individuation. I have so much I want to share with him about being HSP, but alas, I must be patient and try to plant seeds where I can.

Blessings!

Caprice

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#hsp #hspmom #hspmother #hspparent #hspinfant